by Jeff Glover
BURTON, MI – As I think about Christmas 2020, I see only potential. Events in this world are unfolding and it is no coincidence that soon we will be in the season where sharing the birth of Christ and the good news that brings flows naturally.
It seems that If my experience in life has taught me anything it is this. “He is God …I am not.” I speak this truth as a survivor of abuse. One day many years ago, God took this truth and began to change it into something I am not sure I understand even still. To me, the story of my abuse was something that I would carry to my grave, God’s plan was different. At 28 years old I found myself in a place I could never have imagined before God's intervention. I was asked to attend a men’s retreat weekend by an older man from church. He was a mentor and a friend who helped to teach me so many basic things my secrets had robbed me.
It was only weeks earlier that after 15 years I had finally been able to share with my wife of 6 years. Before then, shame and anger had kept me from telling anyone, especially her. I swore I would never have my family share that part of me… that stain. I would keep it at all costs. What I didn’t know was that secret was destroying my marriage. Angry outbursts, lack of trust, and more were keeping me from intimacy with my Savior, and other people. Now somehow, I found myself at this retreat with hundreds of men. Staying the night, trying to connect, and feeling so completely anxious and alone.
I sat through the various sessions, heard different testimonies about how God was working. There was singing and generally it was safe enough until…
There came a certain point in the morning that the speaker stood and called for testimonies. The Lord spoke to me “you need to share” … “God, I whispered. “I can’t do that, no way”. “God there are at least a couple hundred guys here. I couldn’t possibly tell” As they closed out the invitation, I was so relieved. I had managed to dodge the bullet.
That evening however, the speaker repeated the request and the Lord spoke again “you need to share.” The same wrestling came but finally I went up begrudgingly and very reluctantly to share. I told of my shame and that God had broken through, that God was doing something amazing. I was leading music and healing in so many ways. I cried; I broke in front of hundreds of strangers. Almost everything about the experience seemed wrong, but God was teaching me something about following Him. I often think about that experience and how the next morning, no less than 40 men came to me. Each one shared of abuse, and how God had begun to penetrate their pain as I shared mine.
Christmas 2020 will be just this. A chance to see things according to God's plan. It is not always clear in our eyes what God has in store or what he is doing in His way. That can be very scary. Yet His word is clear:
“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.”
Jeremiah 29:11
Jeff Glover is a husband, and by God’s grace, the Father of two amazing adults. He holds bachelor’s degrees in Christian and Crisis Counseling and serves Bi-vocationally as Pastor of Harmony Baptist Church in Burton MI spending his available time reaching out to young couples and survivors of abuse.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Jeff Glover is a husband, and by God’s grace, the Father of two amazing adults. He holds bachelor’s degrees in Christian and Crisis Counseling and serves Bi-vocationally as Pastor of Harmony Baptist Church in Burton MI spending his available time reaching out to young couples and survivors of abuse.