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  • Baptist Beacon

The joy and pain of a pastor’s wife

DETROIT, MI – As a young lady I found myself trying to break free of the church and the fact that my daddy was called to be the Senior Pastor of a local Detroit Baptist Church. In middle school and high school, I found myself doing pretty much what other girls my age were doing, yet, while still being dragged to that church every Wednesday evening for Bible study and every single Sunday morning, week after week, year after year. There were times when the expectations of a preacher’s daughter seemed unfair, and though I didn’t like having to live up to other people’s standards, I did not want to disappoint my father.

After high school I began serving alongside my dad in the choir, and eventually serving in the usher ministry. I would watch my mother and father as they served and gave their lives to God, many times without understanding the many challenges they endured, or the rewards they received.

Fast forward, and now I find myself married to a wonderful husband who I invited to church 25 years ago. At the time, I did not know that would be the beginning of the very thing I had told my father I did not want. Wouldn’t you know it; I met a man whom I invited to church who would eventually be my husband. Three years later he answered not only a call to ministry, but after ten years serving with my father, became a pastor by way of church planting. Now I am a pastor’s wife.

Being a pastor’s wife has its challenges. To be fair, the rewards and the wonderful work of God in our lives and the life of the church far outweigh the challenges we seem to face so often. But being a pastor’s wife is a very lonely place. Very few women understand what it’s like to stand by the side of a man that God has chosen to lead people and be the very target of the onslaught of the adversary. I now face the same challenges, and endure the same trials that my mother, as a pastor’s wife endured. At the same time, I am constantly encouraged by God and His word.

My word to pastor’s wives would be:

Allow the Spirit of God to encourage your heart, the Word of God to empower your mind; serve alongside your husband to engage your hands, as the Lord seeks to Equip your Life, as a minister of reconciliation. Make your work one of a supporting ministry where needed, remembering that it’s okay to be who you are because God made you special. Be his help-meet, and walk with him, remembering that he’s not perfect, but through much prayer and your support together God will accomplish much for the kingdom.

Colossians 3:15

“Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful.”



Daphne L. Gaddy, Church Planter Wife, Women’s Ministry Leader at Victory Fellowship Community Church.


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